As I sit down to write today, I must admit, I’m a bit frazzled. We are preparing for a flight back to the mainland and it’s left me quite moody (just ask the kids!)
It’s not that I’m worried about the traveling itself. I’m not even worried about traveling alone with the kids. I’m far from excited about leaving Hawaii and heading to cold, snowy weather. But, that’s not even it.
I’m just not myself.
I always tend to add extra stress to myself before we leave on a trip. It’s like clock work. It’s not a matter of “if,” it’s a matter of “how bad.”
Today, as we packed, it was no different.
For some reason, as we are packing, I decided closets “needed” to be cleaned out. The pantry “needed” organized. The dog “needed” a bath AGAIN. And, to top it all off, I decided NOW was the time to freak out about the kids’ rooms not being clean.
Clutter gives me anxiety.
Call it OCD, call it just worrying too much. But, whatever it is, it’s a curse. I am a very organized person. But, if I have an area of the house that I feel isn’t “organized,” it will eat at me and peck at me until I organize it. That was my problem today!
My friends at A Fractured Faith pointed out how OCD is a type of idol. It’s been on my mind ever since. I never thought of it that way before. It’s always been just something annoying that I know I need to overcome. Stephen does a FANTASTIC job of explaining more about how OCD can be considered an idol and provides some excellent encouraging words if you struggle with OCD yourself. I highly suggest you check it out!
So, as I’m sitting here writing about my pre-traveling frustrations, I can’t help but feel Stephen calling me out and being a great accountability partner by pointing out the fact that I’m putting those stressors above anything else.
Therefore, it’s become an idol…again.
Jesus says, “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matthew 6:21, ESV).
I feel like today I did a miserable job of staying focused on where my heart should be. I let stress overtake my thoughts, my actions, my words (again…ask my kids how patient I was today.)
My biggest treasure is my relationship with Christ. Today, I didn’t give Him the attention He deserves. I let these false idols sneak in between and ruin my day.
Instead of using today to finish up our last bit of cookies to pass out to our neighbors, I let my OCD grasp ahold of my time. I spent it cleaning and getting frustrated with the kids because they didn’t feel the same urgency to clean the house before we left.
I can’t help but feel a bit down because of this.
Luckily, I DO have a relationship with Christ. I know that He doesn’t judge me, even when I judge myself. The Bible says in 1 John 1:9 that “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”
I can rest assured today, God has forgiven me. I believe He knows my heart. He knows my intentions. He’s with me through the ups and the downs.
Isn’t it a good feeling to know we have a God who can love us unconditionally no matter how many times we come to Him feeling embarrassed that we “failed” once again?
This is the reason for my sense of peace right now. Why I can go to bed with a clean conscience and realize, tomorrow is a new day. Tomorrow is a fresh start. I will stay focused on placing my heart and my attention where my treasures are.
Friends, ask yourself, do you struggle with placing things ahead of God? Do you have hidden “idols” you didn’t realize were idols just like I didn’t realize OCD was an idol?
It’s really something to think about, isn’t it?
I’m sure, if I’m honest with myself, as I dig deeper into my heart, I will uncover even more idols I’m not even aware of.
I am so blessed and thankful for A Fractured Faith Blog and their knowledge and incite. They’ve really given me a fresh look on this and I think it is the first step (push) in the right direction to beating this idol! Thank you so much Stephan and Fionnuala. I am proof that your words are impacting lives!
Friends, I hope you all have a blessed Christmas.
I will be traveling and with family over the next few weeks.
I will still be popping in from time to time.
But, not as regularly as I usually do.
This family time is rare and I am going to cherish it!
I’m also working on a few changes for my blog which I will reveal in the new year. Stay tuned!