Hot Mess But Blessed: How to Rise Above the Mess and Be Blessed

One of my favorite shirts I have reads, “hot mess but blessed!”

If that doesn’t sum me up, what does!?!?! I caught myself staring into the mirror the last time I wore it and just looking at my reflection and thinking, “Wow! I really AM a hot mess!”

As a busy mom, I feel like 90% of the time, I am a hot mess. Both literally and metaphorically.

I have short hair. So, if I don’t fix it daily, I look like I just came in from a windstorm. I don’t have that “natural” beauty-I have light-colored hair which means my eyelashes are light too and can look non-existent without a little bit of mascara. Don’t get me wrong-I don’t feel hideous or anything. But, a swipe of that mascara goes a looooog way for me-even when I’m tardy! I’m older now. I notice the wrinkles around my eyes and wonder if that Rodan & Fields eye cream is working or if I’m just a lost cause. Sometimes I question my fashion sense. I tend to choose comfy and practical over sexy. I have a little more “cushion” around my midsection than what looks good in a bikini.

Did I paint an accurate picture for you?

I think it’s so easy for us all (not just the moms) to nitpick the negative about ourselves. We look in the mirror and we see our failures and flaws.

We focus on the things we assume others notice about us.

Do you know the problem with that? It’s not accurate! I’m reminded of a video I saw recently where strangers were supposed to look at a person and describe what they saw about them. The descriptions they gave NEVER matched what the individual felt the people would say about them. Where they saw a flaw, others saw beauty.

I’m a little embarrassed to go back to what I said about myself now…But, I always try to be transparent. So, let’s take a look at it:

What I saw:

1. Short, messy light colored hair and invisible eyelashes
2. Eye wrinkles
3. Comfy, practical clothes
4. Non-bikini bod

What others see:

1. Trendy hairstyle and pretty “mostly natural” blonde hair
2. Eye wrinkles? What eye wrinkles? Look at those pretty blue eyes!
3. She’s confident in herself and doesn’t need to flaunt her body for attention
4. She’s healthy but not obsessed with herself

When you look in the mirror, what do YOU see? Do you think this is different from how others ACTUALLY see you?

I don’t know about you, but I tend to get to the “hot mess” part of the saying and overlook the “but blessed” part.

I think it’s so important to follow through to the end of it. When we see our imperfections as “flaws” we are missing the “blessings.”

We are surrounded by blessings every single day! Yes! Every. Single. Day! I find that when I dwell on things I don’t like (either physical things or situational things) I’m too consumed with it to notice what’s going on around me.

As I was staring in the mirror picking myself apart, there was a little girl in the other room drawing me a “love note” with 400 pink hearts that says, “I love you, mommy!”

As I was staring in the mirror picking myself apart, there was a little boy who was confidently turning in his school project that we worked on together.

As I was staring in the mirror picking myself apart, there was a husband on a submarine submerged in the ocean praying for my strength while I parent alone.

See what I did there?

When I erase the lies, it opens up room for the truths!

The blessings!

I may see a hot mess mom. But, my family sees the truth!

My daughter sees a mommy who is perfect in her eyes. My son sees a mommy who will selflessly give her time to help him when he is in need. My husband sees a strong wife and mother who can handle more than what’s expected of her while he’s deployed.

I need to stop listening to the lies. I need to open my eyes to see the blessing in the mess.

I need to unbury the blessings so that they are more easily seen and appreciated.

I need to be grateful for the blessings and be grateful for the messes. The messes help me realize my blessings when I may not notice them otherwise.

What are your messes? Do they overpower your blessings? Look at yourself today with the eyes of a loved one or even a stranger. How would they see you?

With Aloha,

Lacy

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