The weekends always cause me to sit and reflect. It’s a great opportunity for me to sit uninterrupted and “JUST BE.”
Today, I find myself sipping on my coffee and thinking about the future. I’m sure that’s nothing unusual, as most people think about the future quite often.
We found out recently, that our plans of staying in Hawaii and retiring may not be able to happen. ha-tragic I know! I’m sure you feel so sorry for me (insert laughter). I realize this sounds very petty and I’m embarrassed to even admit how much it upsets me.
Being a military family, we have moved around quite a bit. Nebraska, Washington, Florida, Hawaii–all in less than 10 years.
If you follow my blog, you’ll know how much I’ve come to LOVE Hawaii. I’m constantly out exploring and embracing our time here. But, I have to be honest with you. I DID NOT want to move to Hawaii! In my mind, we were settled in Florida and it was just TOO FAR AWAY! In fact, during that time of finding out we were moving here, I found myself SO ANGRY at God. “How could he do this to us?” We had just built our “forever home” and had finally opened up our hearts fully to friends we felt would be our “forever friends.” You military families know what I’m talking about! We always tend to guard our hearts knowing that where we are and who we are with is just temporary.
This wasn’t the case in Florida. We were ALL IN!
When the news came that we had to leave, I felt the rug pulled out from under my feet. My heart ached and I found myself crying myself to sleep several nights thinking about it.
However, once I came to grips with it all, I realized my only chance of surviving it, was with God’s help.
I needed to TRUST HIS PLAN in all of this.
Looking back now, I can see how much my faith grew in those few difficult months. I really started listening to KLOVE radio again which put my heart back where it needed to be. I needed to remember that life isn’t all about ME and MY PLANS. It’s about God’s plans for me to live for Him!
I might THINK I have it all figured out…but, I don’t. That news of having to move again was God’s “funny” way of reminding me of that.
But, now, I find myself sitting here with the same thoughts in my head as I did 2 years ago.
I’m in a place where I feel “at home.” I absolutely LOVE it here! They call this paradise for a reason! Do we really have to leave next year?
A sweet friend of mine had to move back to the mainland recently. I’ve asked her how she handled it (she loved Hawaii as much as I do.) She said:
“I will always look back at Hawaii as a season of healing for me and my family. And, moving just gave us the opportunity to “move on” with that new sense of healing within us.”
Stop, and think about that.
I’ve re-read that sentence a few times now and I can feel God whispering to my heart as I do so.
He’s saying, “Lacy. Appreciate and let go.”
I need to stop focusing on what I’ll be leaving behind (hiking, beautiful beaches etc.) and focus on what I’ll be taking WITH me-a new heart!
Just last weekend, I stopped our pastors wife in the hallway after church and we spoke about this. I was telling her how I feel like my “Hawaii bucket list” has doubled with the news of moving. How, I feel like now, I need to “do all the things.” It’s like this pressure to never sit and always get out and explore because soon we may not be able to.
If I’m not careful, I am afraid I will keep myself so busy enjoying everything Hawaii has to offer, that I won’t be giving my heart the time to “let go” like I need to. I need to prepare my heart to move on and sometimes, that’s best done in silence. In those moments where I can sit quietly with God and let Him work in my heart. (moments like now, as I’m blogging my feelings about all of this).
One of the most highly regarded things in Hawaii is the strong Ohana life. (family) Moving here has realigned my heart with that mentality.
I’ve become a better mom because we moved here. I’ve become a stronger Christian because we moved here.
Now, I can see God’s plan in making us move here. My heart is beginning to realize, I can look back at this time of living in Hawaii as a season of growth and positive change. I have no regrets here. I’ve lived it to its fullest and can sincerely say, I’ve embraced it all!
As long as my mind stays focused on remembering that, I think it will be easier for me to appreciate our time here and move on rather than feel sad about having to leave before we were ready.
It’s making me realize that God has another big plan in store for us if we have to move next year. Instead of being bitter about leaving paradise, I need to try to keep my heart focused on that. Keep focused on the fact that God’s not finished with me yet. He has a plan for me and my family which requires us to move…yet again. I have to laugh when I think about how many times God tells his people to move in the Bible and they don’t want to but they do because they are commanded to do so. My situation doesn’t seem much different!
When I think about how amazing His plan was for us here, it makes me excited to think what His plan could be next!
If I trust in Him fully and let Him do the work in my heart and in my life that He wants to do, the results are incredible. If I were to do this on my own, I’d be sitting here typing and complaining about how horrible life is and how it sucks we have to leave.
How about you, friends?
Are you being faced with something right now that is causing you to feel angry at God? Have you lost something/someone recently and you are having a hard time moving on?
In those moments of silence, listen! What is He telling you? Is He telling you to trust? To obey? To let go?
I encourage you to take some quiet time and give Him the opportunity to speak to you. Come to Him with an open mind and let Him work his magic in your heart.
I did just that this morning and it’s given me a new clarity I didn’t have when I started writing this post.
Go into this weekend with a new sense of clarity and eyes to see what God’s plan is for you going forward! You won’t regret it!
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